Jesus, have you seen me in my retainers?
Fortunately my retainers are only 3 months temporary, and I don't have to wear them all the time, so I will be physically desirable and attractive once again. But now I have to learn how to speak again.
I will join David Sedaris in lisping pride!
Ever notice that celebrities always make the biggest fashion faux pas? Take Mischa Barton, the sequined princess, for example. Mischa, ever realize that you do not need to attract further attention to yourself?
Or Lil Kim... I'm actually wondering when we're going to see her entire vagina? You know what, I've got one too! And somehow I manage to magically conceal it in public.
And don't forget that olive bedsheet getup Ashlee Simpson sported at the MTV Movie Awards. Don't get me started with her. She just simply cannot dress herself.
What prompted this intuitive celebrity garb smackdown? I was simply wondering about my own fashion. Nothing more. I seem to be a budding fashionista curious about which clothing selections would be appropriate without being critisized. (It does not seem amusing to walk into a room with an odd legging/sequin drippy combination and having every sipmle minded jokester laugh at me. Not that I would wear something like that, anyway.) Considering that I do not need to be finding shirts that compliment the metal in my mouth anymore, I have decided to update my wardrobe from drab to fab. And now I am in a constant state of worry that my skirt is not at war with my shoes, and that my shirt does not make my face look as though an alien attacked me. I am worried that unless I can find appropriate undergarments, I will never be able to wear white sweatpants again. I am also worried about exposing a breast.
Things as delicate as clothing should be handled, hand-picked, and matched with unconditional care.
Clothes. where does The madness End?